Absolution
by Sakusha
Summary: Born of a prostitute, product of a madman, a young man's painful journey finding his own truth.Meet the one who would help find truth in a world of lies. Angst, adventure, and a freindship forged
1. Prologue

Absolution

Prologue- Unhinged Foundations

              _" It doesn't seem fair…to make right a building built incorrectly" Seta Soujirou_

            In the end, the child died. I have to tell you that because if your looking for a happy ending, well, your idea of a happy ending and my idea of a happy ending may be very different.   

            I was told once by someone far wiser than myself, to go out into the world and find my own truth. You see, I had lived another's truth. I set his ideals up as my own, as if his word's came from God himself. I lived someone else's skewed reality……..and It cost me greatly. It hurts to think of all those years and lives wasted because I chose to let someone else think for myself. I know now that my mentor was demented.

             I am not the same and yet I am. There I was, the entire time trying to hide myself behind an empty smile. Buried deep behind an idiots grin, lonely, unloved and living a life I hated. My speed and stealth to wield a sword the only thing that made me worth anything to the man I looked up too as a deity. I was no more than a pet monkey. I finally found my way out, or rather; someone fought their way inside and forced me to deal with myself. And I was truly afraid; in a way I had not been since I was a young child. Don't get me wrong, I still smile lots, just not with that perpetual naivety I held in my younger years.

             I was right in saying that this wise man was a greater taskmaster than my mentor. A burden bought with blood, paid tenfold, I left that day and have not returned to Kyoto since. Time has gone by quickly. I have learned much, felt much, and now know that it will probly take me the rest of my life to atone for my sins.

A/N - First, I know that there are a lot of Soujirou fics as of late, let me say that this one has been in my head if not sitting on my computer for the last 8 months. I started at the beginning of summer and got to the first chapter somewhere in the fall…. Then my muse left! Vanished into thin air. Aargh! So frustrating cause I know where I want to go with it, well, sort of * sweat drop*  So instead of waiting until I had a good portion of the fic done, like I was going to do, I'll set this out there and let you take a poke at it. (A poke, not a beating please*cowers*) Well, anyway, I'm hoping my muse will once again find me, and soon, cause this is going to haunt me till its finished.

Second, I know some of you might think that this is a bit out of character, but remember; Soujirou himself didn't even know his own heart. He is still in the process of finding himself, so, I think a little angsting is in order even if he keeps it well hidden from just about everyone else. This is a story of a troubled adolescent trying to make sense of the hell that was his life before he meet Kenshin, and man he wishes to become, even if he is not quite sure of whom that is yet.

A/N- Character death? I really would like to keep you guessing, but I will say that no one that you get attached to will die. Confused- Good! I want you to read it.


	2. Beginnings

Beginnings

_Kirei. Beautiful. A simple word, yet the only one I could find to describe that morning. The sun soaked up the morning dew and the warmth radiated on my face. Sakura gently rained down on the obscure little path I had chosen to take me to the eastern ports. I'd been inland all winter. My funds were running low, but now that the ports would be open, there would be work on the docks. By mid-morning, I stopped to rest leaning against a boulder on the side of the road to drink some water. For the moment, I am at peace; my inner demons still in hibernation. Putting the canteen down on the rock, I closed my eyes to meditate on the beauty that surrounded me. I cleared my thoughts, concentrating on the cleansing morning breeze, and realized…I was not alone._

There was someone sneaking up behind the rock I was resting on. Whoever it was they were not very good at it at all, or they would have known that I'd sensed them by now. I tightened my grip on my walking stick. I have held no other weapon in almost two years. I do not feel I have the right. And for all the time I have not held a sword, my senses and speed have not declined. Pickpockets and thieves are a dime a dozen on well-traveled roads. Why would one have chosen a less traveled path with very few targets? No real threat but I was going to scare the hell out of him anyway. Just as a hand sneaked out to grab my canteen, I turned with the ten-ken speed of my youth to face my would be robber, walking stick leveled to strike….and looked into the eyes of a very frightened child. Both of us startled, his eyes widened at the sight of the stick. I shook myself mentally, and slowly brought the stick to my hip, purely out of habit of course, since I did not normally sheath a walking stick. I'm sure I looked like an idiot, but the child did not say so. As a matter of fact, I don't think he was even breathing. He was filthy, his clothes looked as thought they had belonged to a household of wealth at one time. But they were too small and very well worn. He had the look of a mouse caught by a cat. That was my fault of course and I set out to make things right. I motioned to the canteen the child had sought out,"Sumimasen. Your welcome to the water. "

The boy did not move as his eyes never leftthe stick andI suddenly understood. I laid the stick against the rocks, on the other side, away from the boy.

" Is that better? I'm truly sorry, you just startled me, really. You can have all the water you want."

He was still not convinced that I was being genuine, though at least he was back to breathing now. The child took a small step back, and appraised me through sad brown eyes. I got the distinct feeling that kindness had not been shown to him in some time. My heart felt for him. I realized just how much I wanted his trust. I slowly picked up the canteen and lowered it to the ground and stepped away. That was all it took. I gathered it was dehydration rather than trust that won out, but the child fell to his knees grabbing the canteen and greedily drank its contents. The child's demeanor abruptly changed however when he had realized that all the water was gone. He cast his eyes to the ground but not before I saw a tinge of fear in them. He obviously thought that there was going to be some horrible punishment for his actions. I flashed him a smile.

" Its alright, really. There should be a river a couple miles up. And besides, you looked really thirsty. No worries."

That seemed to make the child feel a little bit better, though he still looked vary wary, he held out the canteen to me. I took it slowly out of his hand, as to not frighten him. He was thin, with afair complexion, fine dark hair covering his eyes. Sad eyes. And young, too young to be traveling alone, couldn't be more than 8, I thought.

" My name is Soujirou. Seta Soujirou. I'm on my way to Niigata. You're welcome to join me. I'm alone and I'd enjoy the company."

I packed up my things, threw the canteen over my shoulder and turned back to him, handing out a rice ball, a peace offering of sorts,

"And your name is?"

"Youji", he said grabbing the rice ball as if he hadn't eaten in days.

And suddenly I had a new traveling companion.

Finally*big sigh* 

Thanks _Nikka, I thought it was a nifty start too, then I realized I had to keep going *_*_

I've had this chapter sitting in MSWord for three weeks, and I edited a dozen times, but well, I hope it's enough to keep you amused. I found my muse on a far off island, thanks _Phoe-chan for sending me that way, who woulda' guessed? He stayed around to complete chapter 2 and 3, but sadly left before I edited them. * Whistles while twiddling thumbs*_

I will try to keep the grammatical errors to a minimum. For some reason when all you have is a three year old to converse with for a better part of the day, regression is inevitable. That, and for some reason he wont beta for me * scratches head * _Calger459 you really did help me with direction in my story, though I wont tell you how just yet* evil grin* Thanks too all, every comment helped. Hope to have more soon._

Vocabulary word of the day: Sumimasen- sorry/excuse me


	3. A Road Less Traveled

There were two days where I could hardly get a "Hai" or "Lie" out of him but well into the third Youji was nothing short of a chatterbox. I just knew he would be and I was glad for it. It felt good to have someone to talk to.  There were long monologues where all he talked about was how he was going to be a captain on a merchant ship. His dream. A precious thing it is for a child to dream such things and so I listened in earnest. I spoke very little of myself, my life being something that would give most people nightmares, so when the topic of family came up, I just said that all my family was dead. Elaborating any further would have sent the child running for the hills I'm sure. Youji for his part talked very little of his family as well. His mother died at birth, which was not at all uncommon. He talked briefly of his father and brother who had died in some sort of fight over a shrine. That happened a couple years ago. From then on he had been sent to live with his aunt. Something about the battle involving his father didn't sit right, but who was I to question, Youji wished to talk no further on it and he was entitled to his privacy after all. His aunt had recently decided that he was old enough to work and was sending him to Niigata where an uncle of his owned a shipyard. I did think to ask why he was traveling alone though. Youji had simply stated that his aunt did not want to make the trip, and could not spare the money for a servant to accompany him. Though he didn't say it, it seemed that his short life had been hard, but he was defiantly optimistic about what was to come.

We were making good time. Talking seemed to make the miles go faster under our feet. As we walked I heard a familiar rush just beyond the next bend.

" Do you hear that."? I asked

" Sounds like water."

"Rivers just ahead. That means we got about a day,day and a half to town, and you need a bath."

" Me! You're that one who looks like a homeless sheep herder." Youji said as he stuck out his tongue.

I laughed, he was right. I had let me appearance go quite a bit. Shishio would never approve. He always insisted that anyone around him would be clean and impeccably dressed. I never really understood that considering the man was dressed in a big bandage. After, I hadn't really given much thought to my appearance. However, I was going to need to clean up if I didn't want to mistaken for a beggar.

"Race you!" I said.

" Kay!" And he went off running.

As a child I never had a moment like that. Running for the sheer enjoyment of it. I began to see why children can be seen dancing through fields, running, giggling and smiling all at the same time.

  Youji let out a sharp yelp behind me as we plunged into ice water. The day was sunny and warm, but the ice had just recently melted. Both of us were quick to clean up and changed. We laid out our clothes on the nearby rocks to dry while we had lunch. I made tea while Youji returned to the water to fill the canteens. 

            It was then that I noticed. My eyes wide with recognition. From the top of Youji's shoulders to the back of his knees, he was covered in welts. It looked like he had been beaten on a daily basis. I averted my eyes as he came back so that he would not know that I had been stairing. I now understood why Youji chose this path and not the main road for travel, and the real reason he was alone. He did not leave his aunt he had run away.

             I wanted to say something, but I found that I could not and bit my tongue. My body had once held the same scars, and though now my scars were very much different, I knew he would not want my pity. I did however mentally commend him. Unlike me, he had chosen to leave an abusive home. Suddenly I felt a need to protect him. If someone had been there to look after me, someone who truly cared that is, my life would have turned out drastically different. Maybe I can help somehow.


	4. Devil's of the Past

Devils of the Past

            Dusk fell on our last day of travel, and though we could have made it into town late that night, we both opted for a fresh start in the morning, so we made camp just outside town.

            I started a small fire and Youji prepared the fish we had caught the day before. I really liked this kid, and I was genuinely at ease traveling with him. I was almost sorry that we would be marching into town tomorrow.

            Youji had grown quite after dinner, his eyes lost in the flames and mind somehow far away. I laid the bedrolls out, and started getting things ready for the marrow. Something was obviously troubling the young man. I opened my mouth to ask what was bothering him, but I caught the words before they came out.  Conversation was not something I knew well, and so I sat to meditate on what I might say that would open the door.

"We used to eat fish just like this," He said. That statement was directed more at the fire than at me. Youji gave a halfhearted smile at no one in particular. " You kinda remind me of him."

I was honored that Youji had decided to open up to me.  "Who?" I asked.

" My brother. He used to take me fishing." Youji went back to eating his forgotten meal. " There's a stream just behind the shrine in Shingatsu. Full of fish. He took me all the time."

            _ Shingatsu?…couldn't _be_._

" He was almost a master at Kendo too. My father taught it. He was going to teach me so that I could be as good as him."

               I could feel me heart pounding wildly and suddenly I wasn't so eager for him to speak_. It could not possibly be the same place…_

" There were some people," he went on "They wanted our home. They.."

_No! I don't want to know… Please_. But I found myself suddenly paralyzed, and all I could do was listen quietly to Youji's sad tale.

" First a lot of men attacked us, but my father and brother were really strong, and they sent them away. I was smaller then, my father didn't want me to get hurt. He sent me to my aunt in the next village cause he was afraid that they would send more people." Youji looked up from the fire to meet my eyes, " They did."

(( FLASHBACK))

"Soujirou."

"Yes Shishio-sama."

"There seems to be some rodents taking up room at my new base camp. Exterminate them."

" Yes Shishio-sama."

((END FLASHBACK))

_GOD NO!_

The pain in my heart was so that I though I would be struck dead in that moment. Did he see his father's killer when he looked into my eyes?

"I never saw them again."

With a heavy sigh Youji left the campfire, cleaned up from the evening's meal and set his mat more to his liking for the night. "It's times like these that I miss them the most." 

_How could I? Who am I? Murderer!_

'They were weak' I heard in the back of my brain, in Shishio's deep baritone voice of authority. 'No! They were a caring father and a loyal son, defending their home, their family' I shot back.

My world was suddenly spinning and I stood up shaking.

Youji glanced my way, concern in his voice, "You ok?"

_No, no I'm not ok… I slaughtered a family!_

"Sick," I managed, not looking at him, " Fish didn't agree." I said slipping into the brush behind me, and then I ran. I ran and remembered…

((FLASHBACK))

" Sir, your weakness has already determined the outcome of this fight. Leave now and Shishio-sama may show you mercy."

"Boy," the older man panted with exhaustion and determination, "This shrine has been my family's home for 5 generations. If you want it you will have to take it."

"So be it."

A scream, " FATHER!"

 "Don't worry. You will be joining your father right now."

            ((END FLASHBACK))

            A single stroke for each. A simple, graceful flick of the wrist. I could not see from all the tears in my eyes. The bile rose in my throat, and I stopped running, falling to my knees.

            _What have I done? I never thought.._

_            But that was the point, wasn't it. I didn't think, I obeyed. That was what a mindless lackey did. _

            'Yes Shishio-sama.'

            'Yes Shishio-sama.'

            'That's my good little Ten-ken'

            I cried and vomited until I could no longer. I wished Himura-san had reversed his sakaba and run me through with it. I wanted Kami to strike me dead at that moment and be done with it._ You are a coward. You are a murderer. You are nothing._

_            I knew. I knew all those years of wielding a sword in Shishio-sama's name had caused pain and suffering. But I never in my life had I imagined I could be the cause of this child's suffering. _Oh Himura-san, you were wrong_. I could not possibly repay what I have done. Least of all to this boy. I took his father, his brother, his home, his happiness. And not once did I consider the consequences of my actions._

            In the distance I could hear someone calling my name. Youji is probably wondering where I am. I don't think I can look into those eyes, knowing what I've done. Slowly I stood up, still shaking, I wrapped my armed around myself and forced myself to breath deeply.

             "Soujirou."

            " Be there in a minute", I called back through the trees.

            How do I make this right? I cannot. The wounds I dealt this boy's father and brother were mortal and swift. But there were living victims of my crimes.

            I turned around and made my way back to camp. Youji stood by the fire looking worried.

            "Sorry, Youji."

            "What's wrong with you? You look like hell." Youji smiled a bit to lessen the sting of the insult.

            "Got sick. Didn't mean to make you worry." I tried to smile a bit as well, but I know a failed miserably. I couldn't quite meet his eyes.

            "Well.. Ok. Hope you feel better in the morning, cause I want to get there early and make a good impression with my uncle. I really hope he likes me."Youji crawled into his bedroll and yawned, " G'night Soujirou."

            "G'night Youji."

            He didn't see it but I flinched at his words feeling like the very devil to receive kindness from him. I sat against a tree, away from the fire watching him sleep. I sat like that for a long time. I could not erase my sins. But perhaps I could protect this one innocent child that had lived through the tragedy I have created.

FYI- Youji in pronounced  (you) – (ji)


	5. Contentment

           OMG! She's baaaack. Weiss kidnapped me. Wouldn't let me go till I wrote for them. Cured writer's block though, so I am grateful to the bishounen assassins. This chapter is horribly short I'm afraid. Sorry. I will keep it moving though. And I do have the last chapter written, I just have to tie it in. It may take another two chapters to do that.

Contentment

The weeks passed by quickly. I remember that first day we showed up on Youji's uncle's doorstep. We must have looked like beggars to him I'm sure. Youji introduced himself as family, and humbly asked for a job. His uncle, Miko-sama, looked a little taken back at first, but to my surprise, Youji took out a pouch of coins he had kept hidden, and offered it to his uncle in order to buy an apprenticeship. It was obviously the last of his father's inheritance. Miko-sama quickly took the money in return for a place on one of his cargo ships. Youji was more than grateful. I took an instant dislike to the man though. As family he should not have taken the boys money, but because he was family, I refrained from saying anything. Youji seemed ecstatic, and that was worth my silence.  

            With the very beginning of summer, more and more ships were showing up on the docks. The work was grueling but bearable. Youji, though having enough to buy his apprenticeship on board one of the many cargo ships his uncle had owned, did not however have any money left for the day-to-day things he would need as a sailor. I offered to help pay for anything he might need, and Miko-sama then offered me a job working the docks, a portion of my wages held back for Youji of course. It was the very least I could do to help fulfill the dreams of the child who's life I had shattered. 

            Youji's very first trips were a series of small shipments to the south. They only lasted a week or so each. The ship would barely dock back in Niigata, when Youji would bounce off the deck to find me and tell me of some new adventure.  Those times held special meaning to me, because Youji had been truly happy in a way he had not been in some time, and because he deemed me important enough to share it with me.

            The bunkhouse was the only thing I came to loath about my new employment. There just weren't words for how filthy the place was. Over 50 men, some of very shady character, lived in the bunkhouse that consisted of sleeping quarters and nothing else save the occasional piss bucket. Youji, for whatever reason, deemed family enough to give a job too, was not family enough to give a room to in his uncle's home. Though I would have liked to, I could not keep Youji with me under those conditions. Thankfully his apprenticeship meant that he could stay board ship. Really it was cleaner, for the crew only consisted of 23, and safer because security guards paced from dusk till dawn. Youji for his part enjoyed being treated like one of the men. Though I missed the chatter at night, I slept better knowing he was safe, and reasonably cleaner.


	6. Suspicions

Suspicions

Youji loved life at sea. By midsummer he had even had a rare trip to the mainland. But he spent all his land hours with me. I couldn't get enough of it. Maybe it was a bit presumptuous but I thought of him as family. Considering how he had come into this predicament in the first place, I really had no right but I couldn't help it .  When we could, we usually spent our meals with our legs hanging over the docks, chattering about this and that. On this particular day, however, the docks had been blocked off for security reasons. There were at least two days a month that it was like this. Certain shipments would come in, and Miko-sama had a special crew for unloading the ships contents. The regular workers such as myself were never allowed anywhere near the ship. I found that to be completely odd.  I had a very uneasy feeling regarding the secret shipments and Miko-sama. I don't think I was the only one however, because Youji brought it up during our noon meal as we sat on top of some empty crates by the warehouse.

" ….And I'm not even allowed on that ship. Soujirou, how come he won't let me on _that ship? I work hard don't I? And nobody is ever allowed in that warehouse unless Miko-sama is there.  He was yelling all day yesterday about the new shipment. And this morning I got a peak of the crates they were unloading. The nets weren't secure and one of the crates fell out. Everyone jumped like the thing was going to explode!"_

" Maybe they were just afraid something would break and your uncle would take it out of their pay" I answered jokingly.

" We ships spices, Soujirou" He said seriously " They act like there was something _dangerous in those boxes."_

That boy was too perceptive by half. And he was right. Whenever these shipments came in, everyone got a little jumpy, especially Miko-sama.

" Yo-chan," He hated that name " Let it go. You have a good thing going here. I can't see anything wrong, and you're doing what you love to do."

I really didn't want to think too hard on it because I knew if I did, I would come to the conclusion that Youji's uncle was most likely involved in something slightly shady, and while I would not agree with it, I wanted Youji to have his apprenticeship and to be happy, and these were things his uncle could provide, and I could not. 

" But, Sou-_chan," He not only hated to be called __chan, but knew how to turn the tables, mind you, " What if he's doing something…bad"_

Before I could answer, I heard a slight shuffle, and Miko-samq, the very topic of our conversation, turned the corner.

"Oh! Hello there Youji, and..Soujirou?"

" Yes, Miko-san, Soujirou. It is nice to see you. We were just finishing up our mid-day meal. Is everything alright sir?"  I tried as hard as I could to keep my voice steady.

He eyed us for a moment, surly he could here both of our heart beating because I swear I could.

" Everything is just fine." He said finally. " I was thinking that since there is no work to be done on the docks until tomorrow, I would like some repairs to be made to the main warehouse. I really think that its useless to have idle workers, you understand." He eyed me as he said it and I got the distinct feeling he wanted to say much more.

" Yes, Miko-sama, I'll see to it right away" I cleaned up my lunch and started on my way, Youji behind me.

"I'll came with you" he chirped, also eager to be gone.

" Youji " Miko-sama called after his nephew, and we both stopped.

"Yes, uncle, um, Miko-sama."

" I would like you to came with me, I would like to speak to you about something."

" Yes, Miko-sama" Youji turned to give me a little shrug. Certainly Miko-sama had not heard out conversation. And even if he had, Youji never really accused him of anything. I still felt uneasy, and against my better judgment, gave him a reluctant smile. After all, what could I do? I was not this boy's family, as Mike- sama was, and there didn't seem to be any danger in going with his uncle. With that Youji went to catch up to his uncle who had already started to walk towards the offices.

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A/N Despite the fact that this has been going rather slooow… this will be finished by the end of the month. No, really! It's the beginning of the end you might say and a few things will happen. I'm not gonna tell, you'll just have to read. It might not be what you think. There will be three more updates, two of which have already been written. 


	7. Revelations

Revelations

It had taken hours to finish fixing all those crates. Miko-sama was nothing if not frugal. All the old used crates were to be checked for damage, refurbished and reused. The doors of the warehouse as well as some of the loading equipment was also on the to-do list, but we had gotten a late start, thus, just the crates had been done. I kept my own council for the most part, the others to busy to interrupt, other than to ask for the occasional tool. I kept thinking about what Youji had said '_What if he's doing something..bad'. I really hoped that his uncle didn't hear that conversation. _

            The last few crates were different from the rest. The wood had been doubled, as if to insulate . That in itself hadn't been all that weird, after all, some spices could be rather sensitive to the salt, taking away the taste and with it the worth, but these crates didn't smell at all like any spice I had even smelled, it smelled almost like … well I could be wrong, so I let it go. 

            Finally, I was on the last one. The planks on the bottom seemed loose, so I found a couple of nails and went to work on it.  I had to add nails on the inside as well due to the double planks of wood, it would not just hold from the inside. I stepped back to survey my work, quite proud. I looked at my hands. Hands that had killed, hands that had destroyed. These hands could build as well.                                                                                         As I looked, I noticed that my fingers were coated with something. I smelled the dark substances, and recognized it immediately. Gunpowder! Not just any gunpowder, this was the pure unadulterated stuff. I only knew because it had been my job to soak Shishio-sama's gloves in it. 

'What if he's doing something..bad' 

My heart started to beat faster as I realized the implications. This stuff was the heavy-duty stuff. It was not for fireworks or regular ammunition. This stuff was dangerous, and regular civilians did not have access to it. Matter of fact, I was fairly certain it was quite illegal, if you weren't part of the military guard. 

I turned to the others in the warehouse, " Where did this crate come from? Which ship I mean."

One of the men, Hounto, I think his name was, looked at me little puzzled, then replied 

" That one, and the other two, their from the ship that just came in today. You know, the one they got the other crew workin' on "

_Oh Kami.  _How the hell had I let all the clues go like that? The secretive shipments, Miko-sama's odd behavior… and Youji was with him right now!

I dropped everything, and ran out of the warehouse leaving the others to gape in my wake..

He wouldn't hurt his own nephew would he; I mean he's just a kid. Yet, I remembered,

_"Soujirou"_

_"Yes, Shishio-sama"_

_"Take care of it Soujirou"_

_"Yes, Shishio-sama"_

There are people out there who would hurt anyone who got in their way, and if Miko-sama thought for a moment that Youji had stumbled upon his little smuggling operation, he would hurt him, because ultimately, good people are just stumbling blocks on the road to success. And stumbling blocks could be cut down; Kami , I've cut down enough to know.

 I couldn't get to the offices fast enough. All I could think of was that Youji would not even be here if it wasn't for me. There was of course the chance that I was overreacting. Really, it was quite likely that Miko had not heard us at all, or even dismissed the conversation as the ramblings of a curious child. But there had been something in his eyes….

The offices were locked when I got there. I rattled the door, then the windows, becoming more frantic as seconds passed. Someone was in there, I heard shuffling.  The door opened, and I stepped back, trying to remain calm. At the same time, I heard movement behind me. I turned to the immediate threat, anyone who stood to my back. There were two of them, each armed with there own swords, though they hadn't drawn, yet. 

"And you are?" said the first.

"Sorry to intrude, My name is Soujirou. I was looking for Youji-san."

A hand reached out to grab mine, as the other one said " Just who we were looking for."

At that moment the swordsman that had been cultivated for the better part of my life kicked in. I held him in check however.  I needed to find Youji, and I needed them to underestimate me. They would take me to Youji, I was sure. I let them take my hands, pulling my wrist behind me, I grimiced at the feeling of being manhandled, but then I knew what pain was. This was nothing. They shoved me forward though the open door of the office.  There sat Youji, wide-eyed and scared, hands also behind his back. He started to say something, but I gave him a look that suggested he be quite. There had been a guard with him in the office, Miko-sama was nowhere to be seen. They shoved me into a chair beside Youji, eyed me with more than a little disgust, and then the two guards who brought me in left, leaving Youji and I in the care of the third who sat behind Miko-sama's desk.

"Soujirou.." Youji started.

"Quit!" the guard looked up from the desk "You two have a couple of hours before Miko-sama returns, I suggest you just sit there like good little boys and don't give me any problems." He then pulled his weapon from his hip and placed it on the table as if silently challenging us to do otherwise.

It occurred to me then that whatever had transpired between Youji and his uncle had gone bad enough that they were going to get rid of him, and me because I would be the only other link to the boy. I also realized that whatever was going to happen, was going to happen well after dark. Too many people, too many questions. Miko-sama  obvoisly did not like questions. We still had some time.

" Get some rest."  I whispered to Youji, the guard gave me a death glare but made no other comment.  Youji looked at me like I had lost my mind, no doubt he knew just how dire our situation was.  I gave him a smile of reasurrance, and nodded that everything would be fine. Youji rolled his eyes, and huffed. It was going to a long couple of hours.

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Sakusha- told you I'd keep it coming, though I split this part into two chapters so there will be three more update

Soujirou- Thank Kami, how can anyone work of such a short story for more than a year!

Sakusha- Hey, be nice Sou-_chan!_

Soujirou- Chan?!! CHAN??!!!  Maybe you'd like to see my Shun Ten Satsu"

Sakusha  *eep*

I just love to amuse myself!


	8. Dance With Death

A Dance With Death

It was well after midnight by the time we could make our move. The guard that was supposed to be watching us had finally decided to dose off. So much for his discipline. There were days when Shishio-sama had killed for less. I fell back on my training, watching, listening, and waiting.  Quietly I twisted my wrists and the rope gave way, a trick I learned years ago.  I nudged Youji, putting my hand to his mouth to keep him quite. He woke startled, but quickly remembered our situation and was thankfully silent. I opened the door and was about to usher Youji out, when he stopped and turned back to the desk, picking something up. He turned back and tried to hand it to me.

I looked at the object held in Youji's hands. Tempered steel, wood hilt. It was a short sword. The weapon I had held as I child, though no child should ever touch such a thing.

I knew I should take it. I knew we would be at a disadvantage without it. But at that moment I could have sworn that I could feel the blood of every person I had ever killed dripping off of my hands. I shook my head at Youji. He looked at me questioningly, but when he saw that I would not change my mind he laid the sword against the wall and left as quickly and quietly as possible.

We went around the back of the office. I scoped out the escape route that I had been working on mentally for the past couple of hours. The office was located right beside the loading dock. Two warehouses on one side, and one on the other. Then some more offices and the bunkhouse. It would be easy to wind around these things, many places to hide, but there was a wide area of space before the main gate that would be hard to get across without being seen. We would have to sprint for it and I wasn't sure how fast Youji could run.                                                                                                                               Then something happened that all my planning hadn't counted on; while still sitting behind the office we had just escaped from, I heard a sharp metallic thunk. The sword that Youji had leaned up against the wall must have fallen over. That was then followed by a very loud "KUSO!!"

_Damn. Damn. Damn._

 Hurriedly I pushed Youji towards the warehouse on the left. "Hide outside the warehouse in one of the empty crate's. I'll find you. GO!!" 

I checked to make sure he had listened and then I turned the corner to the front of the warehouse just as one angry guard rushed out of the office. He never saw me as I brought my elbow up to the back of his neck. Unfortunately he had already yelled loud enough to bring reinforcements.  

I jumped up onto of the office roof keeping as low as possible. Miko-sama's guards came running from three directions. They meet up right below me, and I listened to their plans. They were going to lock down the gate first which was fine with me because I had planned to go over it anyway; then a systematic search of the warehouses. That could cause a problem, especially if they started on the outside. I made a decision then: I would draw their attention, and Youji could escape. It wasn't really a noble decision on my part; I had been living on borrowed time for quite a while anyway.

            With ninja's ease I got down and made my way to the warehouse that held Miko-sama's secret cargo, being the farthest from the main gate, any aversion would give Youji plenty of time to make a getaway. As I made my way inside I noted that that was where Youji's uncle had been spending his evening hours. They were going over shipping arraignments over land. I could not let this cargo of death leave the warehouse. A couple of the crates were open and I removed the remaining contents. A bag of explosives the size of a small child.  I then pilfered one of the lanterns. I set the lantern in between two very large, very full crates. Then I set some of the powder underneath the lantern itself, with a trail of it going to one of the crates.  Then I ever so slightly tipped the lantern, so that when the  dripping wax inside got to be to heavy, it would tip over completely, the BOOM! The candle didn't have to long to go, my guess would be mere minutes. Now to draw attention to myself. I walked around my crude little device and back to where Miko-sama had been counting his profits. I found that I could stand at the foot of his desk and he took no notice, involved with numbers as he was. What a fool.

            "What are you planning to do with all those explosives?"  
I asked, barely concealing my contempt.

            Miko-sama jumped and gave a loud cry of astonishment. That was his personal guards queue to come running. I heard them shouting at each other from the outside. Good. They would all come this way, and leave Youji alone. Silently I wished the boy luck, and wished that I could have done more for him. I made no more to back away as hands came down upon me pulling me to my knees.  

            "Where is the boy?" one of them asked, as he twisted my hair in an attempt to make me look at him.

            I gave him a look of disgust and nothing more. They lifted me to my feet and asked me the question again, and again I said nothing. One of the guards, the one from the office, which we had escaped, came to stand in front of me. He looked over to Miko-sama, who gave him a nod. Apparently asking permission to strike me, which had been granted.  The first punch stung a bit, the next three I didn't even feel. When you train under Shishio-sama, you learn than pain is only a weakness, and weakness has no place in the life of a swordsman. Aside from that, I was too  busy counting down the time Youji would need to escape, verses the time this whole warehouse was going to be blown to the other side of hell.

            I guess they got bored because they finally stopped and threw me back to my knees. I then heard the faint scratching of metal, as one off them unsheathed their swords. It was only fitting that I should die like this, I thought faintly, like a coward on my knees.

            " Talk, boy, or you die now!"

            Then I did something I knew would enrage them. I looked right up into Miko-sama's eyes, and smiled. 

            "FINE!" I heard the guard bring his sword up for a strike, and really all I could think at that moment was how incredibly slow death would come. What a funny thought, really. Here I am one of the fastest swordsmen alive, and the guy that would claim my life had to be one of the slowest. Irony.

            "NO!!" _Shit! I opened my eyes but I already knew what I would see. Youji in wide-eyed shock, staying my death. Damn the boy for not fleeing here while he could._

            Almost as soon as the words came out of his mouth, someone had grabbed him. They brought him to stand in front of his uncle just a couple of feet away from myself.

            "Do you know," Said Miko-sama, with an eerie calmness, " Why it is that I do not have children of my own?" Of course no one answered him.

            "It is because they are pestering annoyances that cause trouble where ever they go." Miko-sama looked at Youji in utter disgust, " I gave you an apprenticeship, against my better judgment. Feed you, clothed you, and let you learn a valuable trade, and in return," Miko-sama then backhanded Youji, who made a valiant attempt to stay upright, but feel to the floor anyway, " You almost cost me my entire business with your insistent questioning. Well, you will ask no more questions my dear boy, because both of you are going to take an extended trip to the west. In addition to smuggling some very highly dangerous and expensive explosives, I just had an offer to trade with a gentleman who is in need of workers for his railroad company in the America's."

            "Slavery!" I snarled, " You would sell your own nephew into slavery?"

            " Nephew? Ha! A always hated that sister of mine anyway, worthless little thing died giving birth you know. Weak. This world is made of the strong and powerful. Men, willing to make deals to rule the world."

            "You're wrong" Youji said through his tears, undoubtedly caused by his uncle's caules words about his mother, " Being strong doesn't make you better than anyone else, it just makes you a big bully!" Spoken in the words of a child, but with the guise of someone much wiser. I remembered similar words spoken to me not so long ago. 

            I also remembered that I had rigged this place to blow up very, very soon. My death was one thing, but this child's was quite another. I had one alternative. I could not save Youji with my words, or with my fist. I would have to arm myself to save him. I would have to take a sword once again into my bloodstained hands to create a path of safety. Himura-san spent ten years looking for atonement, for absolution. Though his reasons for bloodshed had been quite different, the result was the same. There would be no such thing as forgiveness from the dead.  There was the living that needed protection now. I hope that someday Himura-san finds what he is looking for. Right now I'm going to start fighting for mine. 

            In one swift motion I jumped up from my knees, turning, landing on my feet, and grabbing the sword out of the startled guards hand. I felled him with the wide side of the blade. At my left one of the other guards leapt into motion. I didn't even give him time to unsheathe his sword. With both of them unconscious, I turned to grab Youji, but was attacked by a third and fourth guard. As I dispatched them, I realized that Miko-sama had grabbed Youji and was dragging him towards the middle of the warehouse. Unfortunately that was where I had set up the lantern.  I followed through the maze. I got ahead of them easily enough, and snaked me hand out to grab Youji's arm as they ran by. Miko-sama shrieked with the lose of his quarry, I shoved Youji back the way I had come.

            "Run."

            Youji hesitated and I screamed at him this time, trying to get the importance across to him.

            "YOUJI, RUN! GET OUT!!"

            He looked to me, then to the sword in my hand and then he did what I asked. I could only spare the briefest of moments to watch his retreating form for Miko-sama had produced a sword of his own and tried to rush me.  I reared back, and he ended up running past me, he turned again in fury as I took my stance. He took a few jabs all of which I easily dodged.

            " Miko-sama, you are wrong.  Being strong does not give you the right to prey on the innocence of others. You have very little time until this warehouse explodes. I suggest you give up. You cannot beat me. Perhaps the authorities will be lenient if you turn yourself in now." 

            "No way in hell. I've worked to hard to build my shipping empire for it to be brought down by a peasant and an orphan." With that he charged again, and I brought my sword down full force, blunt side, on his back. That sent him sprawling, landing a few yards away. 

            I heard a shout sounding a bit muffled and far away, " Soujirou, I'm lost. This place is a maze."

            " Stay where you are, I'll be right there." I dropped the sword and started to run to Youji, praying I still had time to get him out of this mess.  I got a few steps when I heard hideous laughter from behind me, followed by a slight click. Immediately I dropped and rolled away as shots were being fired over my head. 

            " I may not be much of a swordsman, but I can still put a hole you, boy."

            Miko-sama was pointing his personal firearm in my direction, eyes wild, looking like it took all of his effort to stand. It probably did. For a split second we stood like that, looking into each other's eyes, and then the world went white.


	9. The Fires of Hell

The Fires of Hell

Warmth. Can't move. Maybe I'll just lay here. So tired. I know I've forgotten something important, but for the life of me I can't seem to remember what it was. Through the warm haze I started to realize I could hear crackling, like a campfire. That and I have an enormous headache. Slowly I sat up, keeping my eyes closed as wave of nausea passed. What I did open my eyes too, was far bigger than any campfire. I got to my feet swaying slightly.  My plan had worked very well. Maybe to well. The entire warehouse looked like a battle zone, fire and debris scattered everywhere. The blast had thrown me clear into the far wall. How I managed to avoid the falling glass that had shattered there I do not know. As my eyes came back to the wall, I noticed that Miko-sama had not been as lucky. Large shards of glass had impaled his body to the point that I did not bother to see if the man was still breathing. It was clear that he was not. I steadied myself further and only then did I remember that Youji was still in the warehouse. Oh Gods let him be all right!

All I wanted, from the time I saw those sad brown eyes, too when I discovered his family and here in Niigata, was too protect him. I turned crate after damaged crate over in a desperate attempt to find him before the flames over came us both.

            I saw sandals before I saw a body. Small plain sandals peeking out from underneath a rather large crate, It was tilted about a foot off to the right and leaning against another large crate. Oh Gods. I didn't even think of what the implications might be.

"YOUJI!" I yelled, smoke getting thicker by the second. It was a vague reminder of Shishio-sama's ship that had gone down in the harbor off of Kyoto.

"YOUJI!" Yelling again over the roar of flames, panicking as I made my way over to those little sandals. The roof creaked overhead, a warning that I had mere minutes if not second's before the whole building collapsed. There was so much debris it took forever to make my way over. The blast itself had thrown everything in its path a good twenty feet away on almost a perfect radius, the real damage had been further away, where all the crates had been stacked upon one another, now had been thrown down atop of everything else. Right on top of Youji.

I knelt beside those sandals, feet, connected to legs and I pulled him out. It was then that I realized that the initial shockwave of the blast must have knocked him down to the ground and uncontouse, before the crates themselves had given into gravity. Through sheer luck or divine intervention, the crate that had fallen on top of Youji had fallen at an angle, to where it was resting slightly against another, so as to not crush the boy outright. If it had landed any other way it shurly would have.

            Something broke inside of me then. Relief. Joy. Guilt. Maybe even forgiveness. I could not stop the tears from forming, regardless of the raging fire and crackling roof boards above, I held that boy close to my chest as I sobbed. _Cough_

" Soujirou" It was little more than a whisper, then louder.. "Soujirou"

I blinked through my tears, my eyes searched for his.

" Are you alright?" _He is asking me? I tightened my grip before letting go, giving him a slight nod, for there were no words to describe how grateful I was that he was still alive._

" We need to get out of here," I croaked.

Youji seemed to just have noticed the storm raging around us, his eyes widening a bit.

"Uncle?"

"No" I replied, "I'm sorry"

Youji nodded in understanding.

Quickly we climbed over the crate that had been on top of Youji and I looked for and luckily found an exit that had not been overcome with fire. Staying low I ushered Youji safely out of the warehouse.

We stood in the early morning air, coughing and full of soot watching the blaze. At first there had been a futile effort to beat down the blaze. It was quickly abandoned however, in an effort just to keep it contained to just that area. Youji watched silently as the fire took a second warehouse and the dock that his uncle had owned. I could see his dreams die in that fire. I watched him as he watched the flames rise higher, then slowly lower and then smolder. I could have cried for him, for what he had lost, he himself shed no tears. Eventually, slowly, he turned to me.

" You're a swordsman." A statement more than a question.

" That was a long time ago," I said wistfully, still watching the smoke. "Now I'm just a wanderer."

" A ruroni" he said.

" Ya, a ruroni." I answered softly "A ruroni, a wanderer who has only the clothes on his back." I could not offer him anything. Least of all my protection apparently.

" But a ruroni has nothing, Soujirou-san." And then he did something I least expected. He put his hand into my own and looked at me with determination.

" You are not a ruroni, you have me."


	10. Learned Truths

Epilogue- Learned Truths

This is a happy story, not because the child lived. It's a happy because the child died. The child whose mother was a whore. The child who carried rice to the mill as his father's slave, who killed his own family, who grew in the shadows of a madman to foolishly lift a sword in the name of strength. The child who was defeated by the most wonderful, perturbing, excellent swordsman alive. That child died that day and gave way to a young man. A man who found truth in a child named Youji.

Owari

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A/N- Wow!! It's finished! I can't believe it took so long. I am incredibly thankful for all those who followed and reviewed, any further comments are quite appreciated as well. 


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